Jude’s Eclectic Resources

I recently lost my Son to cancer, he was 38 years old and was diagnosed July 08 and lived till December 29th, 08, the saddest day of my life. He was in the hospital at the same time his Son was born on August 1st. I was fortunate that I was able to stand by my Son’s side when the baby was born and it was the proudest moment of his life. All he wanted was a little time to see his Son grow, God gave him 5 months.

The saddest thing any parent will ever go through is to see your child in pain and not be able to do anything about it, but pray. I know prayer can be very potent and there is always hope, but when the inevitable happens and your child dies then you kind of shrivel up inside. I would never blame God for not answering my prayer because I didn’t ask for a miracle just for courage to face what might happen when it did.

God did answer that prayer and I did have courage to face it as my Son did. He wasn’t conscious at the end so he didn’t have time to be afraid. He did have questions about what might happen at the exact moment of crossing and I told him what I thought would happen since I had witnessed my Mother and Father’s death and they were not afraid. He seemed to have no regrets about his life and appreciated all the prayers and energy people sent his way.

He was in a lot of pain and I hated seeing and knowing how he was suffering, but at least he achieved his dearest wish of having a Son before he left this reality and although I will probably always grieve for him I’m glad he has finally returned to his true source and is finally at peace, no more suffering or pain. Just knowing his child has a part of him inside will be enough to sustain me until it’s my time to relinquish my hold and also return to the source.