I have been married 2 times and both were to abusive men. I have been physically and mentally abused and they are very hard relationships to get out of, but I have learned a few things and I am more mature now. The relationship I am in now [ I am engaged ] to a wonderful man. I finally broke my old pattern and chose someone that is good and decent to me, because I deserve that and below are some tips that I have been upholding in this relationship.

Once Married or commited in a relationship: You will need to listen to each other and value each other’s opinions. Furthermore, you need to remember not to take each other for granted. Just think of how much you would miss that person if that person were gone from your life. In addition, you and your partner should always show each other affection every single day, and tell each other of your love for one another. Along with that, you will need to compliment each other. These could be compliments on your partners physical feature (even those without the perfect body) such as “You have a nice smile”, “I like the way you touch me”, or any other honest complement. Do not flatter your partner or you could damage that person, meaning, try not to make complements that you don’t mean just to manipulate that person in some way. It should be genuine.

When you are married, you need to find ways to communicate that will not hurt one another. For example start your sentences with “I feel…” instead of “You make me feel like…” No one can make a person feel like anyone. Own your feelings and do not put the blame and burden totally on someone else. If your spouse is trying to tell you something important do not interrupt that person. That is when the arguing starts-when two people do not want to listen to one another.

If you follow  the above tips you should do fine. However, if you run into any trouble, you both will have to agree together not to give up. If necessary go to counseling or join a support group either together or separately. If you have waited long enough to date after your first marriage, however, your chance of having a successful second one increase.

One other secret to making your marriage stick is to give each other space. For instance, maybe one of you likes to go bowling while the other of you likes to do crafts. You don’t have to do everything together. In fact, it is recommended that you don’t. Otherwise, you could forget entirely about who you are and what is important to you. Giving each other space in your new marriage is just as important as spending quality time together.

Remember  the above tips to help you in your relationship. It will help you in years to come.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 20th, 2006 at 5:20 pm and is filed under Home and Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.