I recently lost my Son to cancer, he was 38 years old and was diagnosed July 08 and lived till December 29th, 08, the saddest day of my life. He was in the hospital at the same time his Son was born on August 1st. I was fortunate that I was able to stand by my Son’s side when the baby was born and it was the proudest moment of his life. All he wanted was a little time to see his Son grow, God gave him 5 months.

The saddest thing any parent will ever go through is to see your child in pain and not be able to do anything about it, but pray. I know prayer can be very potent and there is always hope, but when the inevitable happens and your child dies then you kind of shrivel up inside. I would never blame God for not answering my prayer because I didn’t ask for a miracle just for courage to face what might happen when it did.

God did answer that prayer and I did have courage to face it as my Son did. He wasn’t conscious at the end so he didn’t have time to be afraid. He did have questions about what might happen at the exact moment of crossing and I told him what I thought would happen since I had witnessed my Mother and Father’s death and they were not afraid. He seemed to have no regrets about his life and appreciated all the prayers and energy people sent his way.

He was in a lot of pain and I hated seeing and knowing how he was suffering, but at least he achieved his dearest wish of having a Son before he left this reality and although I will probably always grieve for him I’m glad he has finally returned to his true source and is finally at peace, no more suffering or pain. Just knowing his child has a part of him inside will be enough to sustain me until it’s my time to relinquish my hold and also return to the source.

I didn’t mean that I was closing this blog I will continue to maintain it, but it wont be a priority. I have asked to have it deleted from Entrecard and I have removed the widget. I have also removed any and all PPP code and will no longer do any sponsored posts. I haven’t decided yet which direction I plan to take with this blog yet, but I have been looking for a different template. My brain seems to be in a fog right now, but I’m trying to find my way through it.

I am planning on removing this blog from circulation for awhile until I figure out what to do with it so I’m going to remove all ppp code and remove it from Entrecard and work on making it something else as soon as the 15,000 credits I used to advertise with are used up.

It simply takes up too much of my time right now for this blog. I have sent ec’s to a couple of my favorite blogs and they are given with love for all of the support I have been given. I am fine and I will still maintain my other two blogs so don’t worry I’ll still be around.

I had to accept a couple ads because I had bought from them and they didn’t even check my blog first, but I have gone through and eliminated ads that weren’t accepted at the time I purchased and transfered the rest for this blog to my other one which cost 12% plus something in taxes…bummer and the 500 to each blog cost 64 tax credits each, pretty steep for all the work we put in.

I am seriously thinking about dropping ppp from this blog since I don’t write much for them and have even stopped dropping Entrecards as much for this blog because it’s too time consuming. I think I will try to get my pr back and do something else here. I will of course have to go through and nofollow everything which would take some time and I also think I might make comments no follow, but haven’t decided on that yet. I feel kind of wishy washy of late.

I added the searchstatus to my Firefox and can now see all of those blogs that say they have dofollow enabled, but don’t. Most of the blogs I leave comments at are nofollow, but I already knew that because most of them are blogger blogs. Many people hate to leave comments when they know they wont get even a link back, but others don’t care. It’s really hard to make a blog work when you don’t get traffic from search engines

Thus far I have had no problems with IE, but many people have reported Trojans. It has even hit our local news and they have been warning people to use another browser till they find a fix. I really don’t use this browser for much except to write a post here and there. My main browser is Firefox which I like much better anyhow. Well, I think I’ll go use up all my credits for Entrecard and I might not accept any more ads for this blog till after January because I don’t want people to waste their credits.

I haven’t been doing much with this blog of late I have been concentrating on my personal blog. As I’ve mentioned before I really don’t know what I’m going to do with this one yet. I added Adgitize to my other blog and it seems to be doing okay with visitors. Some people say they are making money with it, but to date I think I’ve only made about 3 dollars. I did buy an ad for 14 dollars for a month so I’m actually in the hole. It’s free to join though.

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