I have never been able to take a compliment at face value because it makes me think they want something from me and they’re buttering me up for the kill or favor that usually comes after they have me in a good mood. That sounds pretty cynical and it’s sad when people are suspicious of someone just because they give a nice compliment.
When I was younger I felt I had to do whatever they wanted or they wouldn’t be nice to me anymore. I then learned how to say no and when they more or less took back their compliment, by saying, well I really didn’t like your new hair cut anyways or whatever the original compliment was I realized that there were a lot of hateful selfish people out there or maybe I simply gravitated toward the wrong self centered ones.
To this day I don’t like compliments unless it’s about a job I completed and feel good about. I know when I put an effort out there on any project and it’s always nice to be appreciated for a job well done. I can take a compliment on my work with no reservations, but I still have a problem with personal ones even though I learned over the years that there really are a lot of nice sincere people in the world.
Everyone has a vision of how they look and what the are all about, but is it a true perception? You really don’t know how other’s see you or what they really think about you. You know what you want them to see, but how good are you at projecting that image? All the world truly is a stage as Shakespeare said and we are the actors playing a part. I personally have changed the role I’m playing many times.
The older I get the freer I feel and I really don’t care what anyone thinks about me, all that matters is how I feel about myself at the end of the day and I like myself, but that wasn’t always the case. I always wanted to fit in and be liked and popular I never felt like I was liked for me. Well, actually I wasn’t because no one including me knew who I was. Looking back at the life I was given I realize I have been many things to many people.
I have played many roles and for the most part I have always been given something valuable from each encounter in my life. I am grateful for all the places I have lived and all the people and experiences I have had. When I look back my life seems to have happened to someone else, like a book I read long ago because that person is no longer me.
Bill never gives me insincere compliments, but I still find them uncomfortable. I seem to be rambling and I actually forgot what my original train of thought was when I started this so I think I’ll go to bed and sleep on it. The weekend is over and I’m tired. I was doing a much needed declutering around the house.
Hey, it’s OK to be complimented, rather than getting none at all rite? Getting complements gave me the creeps too.
Just don’t take it as a pinch of salt, since you don’t really know that they are actually thinking. Or it could be positive indeed. So just be happy.
Hi Haney,
I do try to accept compliments now, but they still make me uncomfortable. I do have that tendency to read more into them than maybe implied. Thanks for stopping.