The Beauty Denominator

How many directions are we expected to go in at one time? With all the demands of work, family, community involvement, making time for your self and various other activities. How do we find the time, especially when we start having children. It doesn’t matter what circumstances you are in it is always the same. Never enough time for all the demands on our life. Well we have to find a balance and learn to prioritize.

Family, work, community life, and time out for oneself are all wonderful goals. They are all important parts of our mental and emotional lives, helping us stay connected and offering fulfillment. Unfortunately what happens is that maybe one thing begins to swallow the other things. Or, even more likely, we run around constantly harried and unhappy, seeking balance, but unable to achieve it because we think that balance means appropriating equal time to everything we are doing.

True balance, however, involves prioritizing. It is not about devoting equal time; finding balance about achieving equanimity in your private life, feeling good about what you are doing without feeling constantly rushed. This means that sometimes you have to cut back. You may have to say no to being on a committee or two. You can still be involved, but not as heavily.

Sometimes it means telling your kids that they can only do two extracurricular activities
instead of four or five. Most kids do not want to feel any more rushed than you do, and assuming that it is necessary for them to participate in four different activities outside school can mess up their sense of balance.

We are constantly bombarded by advertisers with messages of time saving devices, and we read in magazines about tricks that will help us run our lives more efficiently. But the gadgets advertisers sell often only add to the cacophony, not slow it. And often time following tips to make life more efficient just leads to using the extra time to frantically try to do something else.

The truth is that our society has become so busy that balance is not really sought. We are expected to run here and there, ashamed if we have a few minutes of idle time, and balance, which is crucial for our mental and emotional selves, is often overlooked.

What you need to do is figure out what is important to you, and what kind of life you want to lead. If work is the most important thing to you, do a little more work and cut back in other areas. If you feel like work is taking over your life and not leaving enough time for family, try to use your time more efficiently at work. Or leave community involvement out altogether so that if you cannot take time off work you are spending time with your family instead of rushing back out the door to plan some event.

The hardest part of achieving balance, however, is looking for it for yourself in time to spend alone or in adjusting your diet so that your physical self is in balance with your mental and emotional selves. If getting time alone is something you would like to make a priority, but you don’t have time, then something definitely needs to give.

Most people really only need and hour or two to do something that they really enjoy doing each day, whether it is reading, watching a ball game, taking a walk, gardening, or just sitting or lying still, thinking about whatever comes to mind. This is one of the most important things you can do to help yourself achieve balance. Do a little less so that you can spend more time with yourself.

Figure out what you want out of life and prioritize. Cut back on things that are lower on your list. Less really is more when you are looking to live a more balanced life. When you have time to collect yourself and to get to where you are headed, then you feel less rushed. And if you have time to spend with yourself and your family, you may just find that you feel more fulfilled doing fewer activities than you felt when you were running around trying to catch up.

Some form of meditation is great for achieving balance. Do you practice any form of yoga ? Read some of the articles here and see if meditation could be right for you.